Taking things personally - Center for Evidence Based Treatment Orange County DBT and CBT
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Taking things personally

Taking things personally

Recently, a former colleague unsubscribed from our mailing list shortly after we sent an announcement. My first response was disbelief, followed by the thought, “why not just delete the email”, followed by judgment regarding the person. In the past, I would have stuck with the judgment and harbored resentment. I have often found this quote very helpful: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned” ~unknown.

Today, I took a dialectical stance and considered that it may not have been personal. Perhaps she receives an overwhelming amount of email and did not know that I would be notified of the individual who had unsubscribed and used a pared down version of a lovingkindness meditation, to facilitate compassion towards this person. This version in the newer DBT manual, is:

May you be happy

May you be at peace

May you be healthy

May you be safe


In doing so, I am at peace and with that:


May all beings be happy

May all beings be at peace

May all beings be healthy